i'm upset
i really am
i asked my mom out for dinner today cus its her birthday
she rather go singing than go out for dinner with me
am i really less impt to her than her singing is?
ppl always say that its great to be the youngest, always getting doted on
but me?
i feel more like i'm left alone the most
cus i'm the youngest
they know tt its alright to leave me alone
that nothing will happen anyway
so tts wat my mom does
my dad has work so its not his fault
my mom just occupies her time with her hobbies
fine she's entitled to have her own life
but still
its like she has singing 4 times a week
i'm actually glad that i dun stay at home
at least i wun really feel it when she just leaves me all alone
as much as i like being alone
sometimes
the feeling really really sux
i'm not unimpt
or so they say
but tts really not how i feel
sighs
i know i shldn't be upset
i shld be used to it
immune to it
after all it always happens
but in fact
i'm not
it hurts
maybe tts one reason y my heart hurts
it hurts
i'm upset
i really want to cry
but the tears just refuse to come out
i cant even cry properly
it hurts
my bdae's coming
i said i dun wanna celebrate
ya i dun want to with my frens
but i want to with my family
but my mom doesn't have the time for me
she has dinner on that day
while i might say it doesn't matter
truth is
it does
at least i expect the ppl tt i love to celebrate with me
and i dun love many ppl
but apparently its too much to ask for
so i dun
so it just hurts deep inside
sighs
its just a birthday
just a freaking birthday
totally unimportant ordinary day in my life
nothing much
i will not sulk over it
i wun let it matter to me
its just another day
i wun care
freaking hell i wun
it hurts
sighs
and i think i need a hug more than before